Not Over

About two years ago, when I was initially diagnosed with POF (Pre-mature Ovarian Failure), or Pre-Mature Menopause, I had joined a website called "The Bump." They have support groups, pregnancy trackers, top ten baby items, etc. Anything you can think of regarding babies, this website has! I'd been toying around with the website, posting questions, suggestions, my story, etc.

I didn't start getting back into it, until Mike and I met with Dr. Esposito over the summer, to let her know we were ready to begin the donor egg process.

I continued to ask questions, and asked around to see if anyone else was being treated for infertility at Shady Grove. "Chrissy" responded, and mentioned she'd been going to to Shady Grove Fertility, and to private message her with any personal questions. She mentioned that she was involved with a support group on Facebook, and it was a private group. If you search for the group, you can't find it. You have to be personally invited, and if you post something on the page, your friends can't see it. So, she mentioned she would talk to the girls, and see if they could add me. Moments later, I got an invite from the support group, "Not Over." Most of the girls were battling miscarriages, several others PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), and almost all of them infertility. I was treated with welcomes from girls around the country who don't even know me. They all encouraged me that the group was a positive upbeat group, and everyone had each other's backs. No question was a stupid question, and no story or concern was too detailed, or too much information.

I found that their girls were much closer than the girls on "The Bump." They weren't critical, they weren't clicky, and they had questions asked in any category you could think of. I was still closest with "Chrissy," since she was a Marylander, and was the initial "friend" on this page, but I started getting closer with some of the other girls. Recently one of the girls asked about blogs, and what blogging website some of us used. I shared mine, and another girl "Christina" shared hers. I went to check out "Christina's" blog, and was quite inspired. She had several quotes; many of which were religious, and she had a story that touched me. Just this past week, she suffered her third loss. Although her loss set her back, she continued to congratulate the others that had just gotten word of their positive pregnancy test, or exciting news that they were ovulating, and could start trying to conceive again.

I had to let "Christina" know that she was a God send, even though it might make her cry...

Maureen Stout Huntemann
‎"Christina" I don't intend to make you cry, but I wanted to let you know how inspired I am of you. I think, by far, you are the strongest women I have EVER MET! You continue to comment on posts that I'm certain must be difficult for you. You're upbeat, positive attitude is contagious. I wish that one day I will be able to have the dedication, heart, and strength that you continue to let shine through even on your toughest of days. I just wanted to let you know that it doesn't go unnoticed, and I appreciate all of your continued kind words on a daily basis, when you could just keep everything to yourself. You are truly an insiration "Christina!"

Maureen Stout Huntemann ‎(you have me crying now)
9 hours ago · Like · 1

"Tanya" I agree whole heartedly with Maureen!!!
9 hours ago · Like · 1

"Chrissy" She knows she is amazing :)
9 hours ago · Unlike · 2

"Amy" I absolutely agree! She has helped me get through some very tough times. We are all here for you sweetie and we ♥ you!
9 hours ago · Unlike · 2

"Stephanie" I completely agree. I would love to be half of what she is! Love you "Christina!"
9 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 1

"Christina" <---bawling at my desk...........awww Maureen you are beyond sweet and God must have really spoken to you because I so, so needed this this morning..you are such amazing women! I think each of us is stronger than we know. it takes a certain type of woman to be able to walk in our shoes and I know I could not get through this like I am if it werent for this board....with talking about where we will go from here, gosh do I have a lot to think about! But I know that we will be okay...and I literally told Chris last night, "I dont think I would be getting through this as well as I am if it werent for all the women on that board."..........and he asked me to thank you all. ((hugs))....
8 hours ago · Like · 12

Maureen Stout Huntemann I couldn't agree more. The Bump does not even compare. You ladies are out of this world! He totally spoke to me! Your blog is amazing, your quotes are inspiring, and you are an angel in disguise!
8 hours ago · Like · 3

"Sandra" ♥
8 hours ago via mobile · Like

"Heidi" And now I'm crying! Completely agree
8 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 2

"Heather"You both have me crying. I agree with Maureen. "Christina" you are beautiful inside and out and are such an inspiration to all of us. Love all my NO girls.
8 hours ago · Like · 1

"Danielle" <--- crying at my desk, too! I 150% agree with your post, Maureen! You have hit the nail on the head and said it better than I ever could.
8 hours ago · Unlike · 3

Maureen Stout Huntemann I just speak from the heart!
8 hours ago · Like · 1

"Christina" ‎((GROUP HUG)) awwwwwww..... *tear* okay okay now back up off meh......cant let all my awesomeness rub off...I need some if it for 2012... :D
8 hours ago · Unlike · 4

"Christina" just keeeeeding :) hahaha
8 hours ago · Like · 1

"Tanya" Wow... aren't we all just a bunch of sensative Suzies lol!! Ahh who am I kidding... I'm always CRYING lol
8 hours ago · Unlike · 1

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I've never met these girls before, but they truly inspire me to get out of bed everyday, and put one foot in front of the other. Without them, I'd be lost. They are like family, only they don't offer that nagging advise that some moms give :) Love you Mom!

Thank you girls from the bottom of my heart! I will forever be grateful!

"Christina," one day I hope you realize the impact that you have had on us! You are owed an infertility "purple heart."

(I have the names in quotations because they aren't their real names.)