So very few people even know what we are doing, and why. I know most people are going to tell me to keep it to myself, and not tell anyone...nobody needs to know except you guys. Etc, etc, etc.
Well in my opinion, nothing should be kept a secret to those that I love, and we should be proud to share this exciting story with everyone. There is nothing to hide!
October 2, 2009 is when Mike and I found out I was diagnosed with pre-mature menopause, also known as pre-mature ovarian failure.Initially we didn't believe the diagnosis, but after going to 4 doctors, we realized we had to accept it, and move forward.
It took us close to 2 years to decide that we wanted to go the donor egg route. Because I don't have any eggs since I've already gone through menopause, our options were either adopt, enjoy our family with just the 3 of us (Diesel is our 4 legged son), or in order for me to carry a child, we would have to select an egg donor.
Originally I wanted to adopt. I wanted to give a child an opportunity that may have never had. I wanted to give a loving home to a son or daughter, and I knew I wouldn't love them any less. I was selfish at first, and I said to Mike, why should you have the opportunity to have a genetic child if I can't? Well, my attitude has changed after a lot of consideration. Why should I hold Mike back from an opportunity? Why shouldn't Mike be able to know what it feels like to have a genetic child?
Several nights of talking went by. He shared that he wanted me to have the opportunity to carry a child. He wanted me to have that biological connection to our son or daughter. He wanted to be able to pamper me, rub my feet, tie my shoe when I am too big. He wants to be with me to hear our child's heartbeat for the first time. He wants to be woken up in the middle of the night when I feel the baby kick for the first time. He wants to be there when my water breaks. He wants to be there for the delivery of our child.
So in August of 2011, we decided to make an appointment with Dr. Esposito to begin the donor egg process, and find out what it entails.
August 16, 2011, we found out the costs, how we choose a donor, how the pre-screening process works, etc.
We wanted to do a money back guarantee, just in case it didn't work the first time, but we wanted to go the most in expensive route.
So, we decided on the 1:3 program. (1 donor to 3 recipients) 1 anonymous donor would divide her eggs among 3 anonymous recipients. Once the pre-screening process was completed (Financial Consult, Intramuscular Injection Classes, HSG Test (Hysterosalpingogram), Mock Embryo Transfer, Medicated Mock EEP Cycle, Social Worker Consult, Bloodwork for both of us, and a follow up with the doctor), we would receive the database log in to choose our donor.
During the pre-screening process, we were given a temporary password to all the donors, just to find out what the database is like, and get a feel for what type of detail they share.
The temporary access log in wasn't narrowed down by the donors specifically in our category. Each category is broken down based on the program you are in. For a donor that is in a 1:1 category, she wouldn't produce as many eggs as a donor in a 1:3 category.
As having zero experience with this type of program, I would have thought that there would have been hundreds of donors. When we logged onto the temporary log in, there may have been 30-45. I was shocked! So under the temporary log in, when we had initially logged in, we didn't find anyone that we liked, and I didn't think that our criteria was too extremely detailed.
We were looking for someone that was about my height and weight, with blonde hair, and green eyes, that didn't have very many family medical issues. But, we found no one! A few days later, a new donor popped up, and her baby pictures looked exactly like mine! I was hoping, and keeping my fingers crossed that when we got the official log in, she would be in the 1:3 category! Her family had zero health issues, her essay was almost as if I had written it myself. She was 5' 2", about my height, had green eyes, blonde hair, and she was as cute as a button!
October 7, 2011, we received an email from Angela, the recipient liason with Shady Grove Fertility, stating that the nurse and clinical assistant informed her that we had completed the pre-screening process, and we were ready to be given the access code for the donor database. WAHOO! Only thing is, we logged on, and there may have been 7 caucasian donors with blonde hair, and the donor we fell in love with wasn't there! BUMMER!
So frustrated! So we waited, and waited, and waited. Each morning Mike would call me from work, and say "Check out this one!" Nope...wasn't having it! The next day, no new donors were added, and each and every day we just looked at the same donors, over, and over again. Then the next day was the same story. At this rate, we weren't going to find our donor until Christmas of next year! Sheesh!
Then one day Mike called me up! He said, "You have got to check this one out!" "Almost no health issues, and everything else that we want!"
I had looked earlier that morning on the 18th of October, and no one new was added. So as soon as I got of the phone with Mike, I logged on using our MHuntemann log in, and there she was.
She was perfect, but I was hesitant. I guess I was nervous to move forward. Maybe I was afraid to settle. So I told Mike that we would meet with Dr. Esposito tomorrow morning for our appointment to review our pre-screening process, and we would go from there.
On October 19th, we met with Dr. Esposito, and everything went well. She told us the next step was to choose a donor. Mike told her we think we found one. And she told us to go for it! So, we did. I got to work, and the morning of October 19th, we locked in our donor. I asked our nurse if she could inform us when the two other recipients chose our donor, and she said, you bet!
So, we got an email on October 20th at 3:32PM that a second recipient was on board with our donor! WAHOO! Just over 24 hours after we had chosen her. That meant that the 30 days starts ticking! If no one else chooses our donor, we just move forward with the 2 recipients at the same price. They don't make you wait and wait if a third recipient isn't found. But then, even better news! Our match with Shared SGFC Donor #0811-9 in the 1:3 program was complete. At 4:28PM on October 20th, all three recipients were chosen for our donor.
Now they sync our cycles, and then we start the shots, and then we wait.
The story of my life, we wait!
But, I'll be certain, he or she will be worth the wait!
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